Swiss police say I, a slim man of 74kg, sodomised to death a 120kg steroid taking, body building, ball of muscle martial arts fanatic in a sex game.
Inspecteur Fabien Fontannaz, who expressed his hatred for Australian values, specifically LGBT people and the Sydney Mardi Gras, really has quite a twisted imagination. He was so excited by the prospect of immersing himself in a homosexual sadomasochistic murder, that I was left wondering if it wasn't one of his own person fantasies.
During our discussions he let slip he has a sister living a couple of hours north of Perth, somewhere remote, although when he recovered himself, he tried to cover up her location by adding "...well, she WAS in Perth, she moved to Darwin" in a blatantly obvious attempt to disguise her true whereabouts. People of Western Australia, beware, a Swiss woman going by the name of Fontannaz has a broher who visits her, but hates our beautiful country Australia for our values and decency.
I don't think Procureur Frederic Gisler thinks much of Australia either, judging why the appaling way he spoke down to me. The Swiss are puritanical savages to a man, pretend as they will otherwise, but I digress...
Oscar logged our bike rides using an Android App. Some of our last rides were 60km. He was clearly extremely fit at 120kg, he wasn't some big obese couch potato.
When I said I was a Quentin Tarantino fan, but I just didn't appreciate "Kill Bill" -- he forced me to sit down and watch it with him, while he explained it was a huge nod to the classic martial arts films, particularly Kung Fu; this guy was such a martial arts aficionado he paused the film every 5 minutes to explain the huge catalogue of these references.
So, yeah sorry you inbred Swiss retards, your conjecture is patently absurd!
Having said that though, if the roles were reversed, one could be forgiven for such a wild imagination.
Alhough the rest of us would still be left with the impression that the Swiss police harbour latent homosexual sadomasochistic tendencies.